Driving On The Las Vegas Strip Will Be Even Slower Next Week

There are few things more painful than driving on the Las Vegas Strip. Millions of tourists gawk out their windows with reaction times up there with sloths. Pedestrians go by like NPCs coded not to respect the "Don't Walk" signal. But what if we told you you'll soon get all of that with just one lane!

Las Vegas Boulevard, still recovering from the nearly year-long project to pave the road for the F1 Las Vegas Grand Prix last year, is bringing the cone zones once again.

Several portions of Las Vegas Boulevard will have several lanes blocked next week. The worst of which will be between Park Avenue (where Park MGM is) and Harmon Avenue. The northbound lanes will be whittled down to one from Sunday, June 2nd at 9pm through Thursday, June 6th at 3pm.

The stretch, typically four lanes, is sure to be a pinch point for locals and visitors alike looking to get Strip-access. You know the drill. Avoid at all costs.

While that is only the worst of it, there are other closures that will severely limit driving on the Las Vegas Strip as well. And no, it isn't all happening in the overnight only. Here's a list of what will be affected and when:

Those are the more long-term issues. Shorter term, you can expect these lovely closures:

Obviously all of these closures are frustrating, but believe it or not they are being done for us.

This portion of the Las Vegas Boulevard Improvement Project (the incredibly boring 269 page document available on the Clark County website illustrates) will involve moving a lot of dirt, paving and more along Las Vegas Boulevard and Tropicana Avenue.

This will all (hopefully) making driving on the Las Vegas Strip better. Although depending on who you ask, no one should drive on it at all.

Man, does Las Vegas love an implosion. When a casino "goes down" on the Strip, it is an absolute spectacle. People gather late at night to watch things go boom. With the Tropicana set to close in April, a lot of people are getting ready to plan for their next implosion party. (Don't buy the balloons yet, the property hasn't determined how they'll do it).

But considering we've got TNT on the brain, let's come up with a list of the the properties that we think might be the next to go on the Las Vegas Strip. But before that...

Over the years, a bunch of properties have had their date with a detonator. While some of them have been pedestrian, others have absolutely brought the fire.

When the Stardust went down in 2007, it was a spectacle. A late-night 2am fireworks display followed by a pyrotechnics countdown on the building itself. This could very well be the high-water mark of Las Vegas implosions.

When the Hacienda went down in 1996, it was part of a New Years Eve celebration. The building went down right at midnight... east coast time. That way viewers on Fox could countdown to Michael Buffer delivering a play on his trademark phrase "let's get ready to crumble!"

The Landmark went down a year earlier in 1995 and probably takes the cake as the most fun building to sheer in half and crash to the ground. The property was once owned by billionaire Howard Hughes, who also owned KLAS-TV, and a bunch of land in the west side of the valley that has since become Summerlin. The guy was "peed in jars" levels of crazy... but they the property was pretty cool! And that blast of dirt at the end was apocalyptic.

Now that we've gotten a taste of the good ol' days, let's look to the future. If not the Tropicana... then who should be next to go?

There are some that believe if a property has a street named after it, it should be protected at all costs. The Sahara opened in 1952 and hosted many of the greats. Back in 2011, the property changed hands and eventually became the SLS Las Vegas. The rebrand was decent and the remodel was jaw dropping... but it didn't make many waves in the city. Eventually the legendary Sahara name came roaring back, and the property has been the beneficiary of many concert events across the street at the Las Vegas Festival Grounds. We like what they've done with the property. But at the very least the parking garage has got to go.

This won't happen anytime soon, although it should. The clown property has seen better days but recently owner Phil Ruffin has put some cash into fixing the property's iconic neon sign. Is it pretty? No. But is the property paid for and an ATM for Ruffin? Yes. The property is sitting on over 100 acres of land - about 14 more than Resorts World! That is a lot of land to do a lot of things on. But the one thing Circus Circus has going for it that Resorts World and Fontainebleau do not? Low expectations and costs.

Say it with us... "blow it up!" The property is the home to Denny's, White Castle, and likely the worst accommodations on the Las Vegas Strip. It is actually quite shocking that this could be nestled near The Venetian. Sure, people need discount options but this is centrally located land. There is speculation that the owners have bigger plans for the property. The only thing that might stop this from being an implosion is the proximity to Harrah's. Unless...

First, we need to save Donny Osmond. Then, send the property packing. It has been open since 1972 and now has become a bit of a forgotten child between and across from several iconic landmarks. Of all the properties we think could be erased on this list, Harrah's and Casino Royale may take the cake. There is only so much you can update. We think if you were to keep Carnival Court and blow up the rest, many wouldn't notice.

Just talking about blowing up the Flamingo hurts. Yes, it is dated. Yes it is centrally located and if it were something of Resorts World or Fontainebleau's caliber with that location they'd be a juggernaut. But... this is the Flamingo. It has a street. Is the building ugly? Sure. Is the neon incredible? You bet. Just the history alone, you can't. Even Barbary Coast got a second (and third and fourth) life. Nevermind. We take this back.

Don't think you got out of this unscathed, MGM Resorts. The time has come for Excalibur. Of all the properties, we might feel the most strongly about this one. The property has been the "ugh fine, it's cheap" option for quite a while now. But there is so much space that is going unused and the theming is so weak at this point that there is no better time than now to let it rip. A new baseball stadium (supposedly) being opened across the street. The Knights. The Raiders. All walking distance. Tournament Of Kings? Thunder From Down Under? Australian Bee Gees? Please walk a safe distance away. We will find homes for you. Building? Ya gotta go.

The Las Vegas Strip technically ends at Sahara. But if you consider The Strat part of the Strip, first, sorry you're wrong. But second, sure, we'll give you a taste. The Strat has done some pretty great stuff lately to improve the property and their rooms. Plus the new Atomic Golf opening soon looks like it will be fun. But... we all saw that Landmark implosion. Admit it. It was cool. Imagine The Strat going down? That could be incredible! Plus, let's face it, it would be hilarious watching half the valley get lost after losing the one landmark they use to get a grasp on where they are in the city.